IamSarah

was filling these notes every single minute in a day about him, about my feelings and about us. But I learned that not all efforts are to be paid off. Di lahat nasusuklian at nabayaran ng higit pa sa effort na ginawa mo. Sometimes it happens not for you to just learned from someone but to also discover yourself that you can do this and that, that you can sacrifice amount of your time just for someone to be happy. That you can dream so far beyond the reality… Love can transform you to the person you are not. It makes you so poetic, it makes you crazy, it makes you see only HIM. But at the end of the day you’ll realized you’ve done so much, you’ve tried so much, you sacrificed so much. You’ll eventually get tired doing the chapters for him just like in a every book there is always an END TO A THING.

People complaining the pain in their hearts but just like a wound they keep cutting it while it is open. They do what hurts them the most. Instead of closing it they view it. Even if the world would give us lots of choices to forget we’d still have a part of us that remembers and can’t just forget.

Yung mga panahong sya lang yung kausap mo, nasanay kana sa routine na sya lang talaga.. ung panahong pinapahalagahan mo sya dahil akala mo mahal ka din nya.. Yung mga panahong mas pinili mo pa sya sa mga kaibigan mo, imbis igimik mo eh uupo ka nalang sa harap ng computer para lang kakausapin sya. Yung mga panahong bulag na bulag ka pa. Yung kahit mukha ka ng tanga naghihintay kang mag online basta lang makausap mo sya buo na yung araw mo. Yung mga panahong sabik na sabik ka sa kanya, yung gusto mo na sya makita, makasama. Yung gusto mo maexperience mo lahat kasama sya. Yung mga panahong iniwasan mo ang iba para lang sa kanya, yung maraming higit sa kanya pero sya parin nagpapakilig sayo, sya parin nakikita mo. Yung lahat ng ginawa mo buong araw sya agad takbuhan mo. Sa lungkot at saya anu’t-ano pa man sya lang may alam ng nararamdaman mo. Alam mo na ugali nya pero mahal mo pa. Yung panahong basang basa ang unan mo kakaiyak sa kanya. Iniiyakan mo sya sa mga pinag gagagawa nyang kalokohan, yung pauulit ulit na pagpapatawad mo sa kanya kahit sinasaktan kana. Yung panahong kakayanin mo lahat ng sakit basta sya lang makasakit sayo at basta lang wag syang lumayo. Yung mga panahong inspired ka gumawa ng sulat para lang ibigay sa kanya. Yung mga panahong lutang ang isip mo kasi nga inlove ka, inlove na inlove.. yung kahit pinagsabihan kana ng mga kaibigan mo na wag na sya at may iba na sya. di mo pinaniniwalaan. Dahil sa puso mo lang ikaw nagtitiwala. Tiwalang tiwala ka sa nararamdaman mo. Yung lahat ng utos nya susundin mo wag lang syang magalit sayo. Mapatunayan mo lang na kaya mo gawin lahat para sa kanya. Yung mga panahong nagawa mo ang mga bagay na di dapat para lang maging sapat ka sa kanya.

Yung mga panahong yun TAPOS NA TAPOS NA.

fearing that once you believe him, you’ll end up fool again. And the history would just repeat over and over.

YOU’RE ULTIMATE GENIUS

I want this,

I want that tight hugs while we are lying down under the thick sheets in your bed. Whatever the weather it is, but having rain would be much better. While the rain is pouring and surrounds the room with a cold breeze, I’d be there to make you feel hot. I’ll be your human heater. We would watch movies, the crazy, cute, romantic and the silly ones… And somewhere along that scene we’ll look each other’s eyes, we’ll kiss so cute and it’s going to be deeper. Deeper and deeper and feeling the heat in each other’s body. We’ll make out and became one. And we say “I love you” with that tiring look, we fall asleep in our thoughts of love. I would love this. I would love to do this with you. It was always nice to dream, dreaming that someday we’ll be able to do this again and again and again and we’ll never get tired of loving each other.

#My diaries speak so much of my heart.

I want you to be happy with me.

That feeling you get that you know you will always be left.

Sometimes I feel too much. I feel too much from all this things. Tired for all the things that just happen so repeatedly. But I’m always ended up doing it, believing it and not giving up..

I don’t drink coffee, but can we just try to spend time drinking it together. can we just go out and  have a late night coffee breaks. mhmhm. what I meant was I just want to know you better seriously.

This is craziness.

I promise to be with him no matter what happens. I know he feels the same way.

(All thoughts at night are the most sincere and real one.)

(Source: xarj)